Not much

Xong được 5 cái applications, còn 1 cái duy nhất, đang chuẩn bị cho những ngày tháng tự do tươi đẹp với bao nhiêu kế hoạch chưa thực hiện được ở VN thì đùng một phát, bác giúp việc phải về quê đột xuất, thế là phải làm oshin bất đắc dĩ, không những thế, cả ngày bị stuck ở nhà, không đi đâu được, bao nhiệu cuộc hẹn phải cancel hết. Thợ thuyền người này người nọ bấm chuông liên tục, một ngày phải chạy lên xuống cầu thang mấy chục lần, mệt phờ cả người...

Happy St. Patrick's day. Especially to someone. This is a very special day.

By the way, I love GREEN. So this is the only day of the year where I can wear green and not look weird.

I've been thinking what to write. But I'm a bit confused. You see, I have 2 different diaries, 1 very detailed schedule, and then this blog. So I have to decide what to write where and not repeat myself. I have a lot I want to write about, but there's always that constant fear that someone will actually read my mind. I want to express myself yet I'm afraid of people understanding me. Therefore I do a half-ass job of both writing and hiding. A diary is supposed to be a place where you pour all your soul, but I have the phobia of it being discovered and read by other people, therefore I don't even dare write what I feel in my diary and sometimes have to use codes, which I later forget what they mean!!!

It would be nice to have someone to talk to and not have to hide your feelings, and just be yourself...

1 more week!

I can't wait for 1 more week to pass. I will finally be a free person. These past few months have been painful. I was constantly struggling with standardized tests, resumes, essays, recommendations, and interviews. I must have been floating in my own world for a while, not even wanting to talk to anyone. I was always preoccupied with my own thoughts... I don't even know what's going on around me anymore.

Life is a never ending cycle. In elementary school you had to try to get into a good secondary school. In secondary school you had to work hard to pass the exam to get into a good high school. In high school you work harder to get into a good college (I remember going to London 4 times and sleeping on a friend's floor to take the SATs and TOEFL and ACTs 6 years ago). You thought you were done? No way, job searching is even worse. Imagine applying to 100 firms, spending 8 hours per day job searching only to get a few interviews and if you're lucky, 1 job offer.

Well, that's not the end. Just when you think it's going to get better, applying to grad school is the same grueling cycle. LSAT, GMAT, essays, interviews, resumes. And if you do get in, you barely have time to breath before that internship and full time job search comes back to haunt you...

I hope this will be the last admissions process I ever have to go through. I don't think I can stand doing this one more time. Unless one day I couldn't find a husband and decide to get a PhD to kill time... As my friend said, she'll go back to Vietnam after her MBA to work and find a husband, but if by the time she's 30, she is still single, she'll probably go abroad to do a PhD.

The only good thing coming out of this is that I made a few new friends also going through the same thing as me. It's kind of like a support group. Also, while trying to write these arduous essays, I had to think a lot about my past, present and future and had to do an evaluation of myself. I actually discovered a lot about myself, and suddenly remembered a lot of things/accomplishments I had that I had long forgotten. It somewhat gave me a bit encouragement in disappointing times. It made me realized that I actually had a few good achievements and characteristics, that I am stronger than I thought I could be.


Just have to keep trying. Keep smiling. Keep hoping. And keep praying...

You make me laugh

I am writing this while I should be writing my business school application essays. I couldn’t write a passionate essay on why I wanted to go to business school, yet I could write passionately about you.

I haven’t written a blog for 8 months. But this morning I woke up thinking of you. I was thinking of you while eating breakfast. It’s snowing where you are right now, I was wishing I could play in the snow with you and build a snowman. I was also trying to answer a question everyone has always asked me “Why do I love you?”

It’s a very difficult question that I myself have been trying to answer for a while. I know I love you, but could never express why or how to put it into words. It’s not like with other guys who you can point out about their success, their good looks, and their charisma. Sure, you’re charismatic. But you are not as handsome or successful or rich. I tried to remember all the times we were together, what made it so special. We are complete opposites, sometimes it’s a struggle to get along. But I suddenly realized the answer. It was so simple: You make me laugh. You are the only person who can make me laugh everyday, make me feel safe and that there is nothing to worry about.

They say, when you love someone, do not wait until tomorrow because tomorrow might never come. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow or in the future, but I just wanted to tell you how thankful I am and how happy I am when we were together.

Disclaimer: My blog is for entertainment purposes only, please do not take it seriously or personally. Thank you!