A happy day

Today I am in a (rare) good mood. It’s a very special day indeed. However, this is probably going to be my least coherent blog so far.

I woke up from a very beautiful dream. Although it was just a dream, it made me happy for at least half of the morning.

This day 33 years ago, Vietnam won the American war. This day 9 years ago, a high school friend of mind said he liked me. To this day, he’s still one of my best friends who really cares about me and has always there for me.

Talking about guys, today I also talked to a college friend who I haven’t talked to for over a year. He was my best friend in college. We met on the very first day of Orientation at Brandeis. Although our friendship has gone through ups and downs, we have always been together, shared our deepest (dirty) secrets and feelings. He is one of the few people who understands me and accepts me for who I am. We shared many long nights studying (and sleeping on the couch) in Shapiro Student Center. He had seen me cry, he had seen me fall in love, he had seen me heartbroken. We have had really bad fights when we didn’t talk for months and then one day one of us would burst out “Damn, I miss you”. And the other one would say “I miss you too. Can we talk again?”

And so one day he got a girlfriend. And his girlfriend doesn't like me much. And so for one whole year I didn’t see him or talk to him. It was a really lonely year. I had other friends, I had fun, I had a good life. But no one could replace him. Yes, he’s not perfect. There are things about him that just drives me crazy. But he’s the only one who I can be completely honest with. I hate him for choosing his girlfriend over our friendship (of course, who wouldn’t) but it also hurts me to see him get hurt and having to go through life by himself (without me scolding him every step of the way).

And so today, suddenly he IMed me. And we started talking. And I said “We used to be bestfriends, and then we became strangers after you got a girlfriend. So now you’re single. Can we be friends again?” And he said “You bet. I miss you so much.” “I miss you too”. There was so much I wanted to tell him. Things I’ve kept to myself not being able to share with anyone. And guess what he said after listening to me? “I heard you whine about these issues 3 years ago. I can’t believe I am listening to the same shit again. That’s why I love you.” Ha ha ha…

I am so glad to have you back in my life. I know we will continue to fight and maybe not talk again. But I know we will always be bestfriends and thank you for being there for me!

Disclaimer: My blog is for entertainment purposes only, please do not take it seriously or personally. Thank you!

Thơ ông nội

Hôm nay ngồi lục lại các file cũ tình cơ tìm thấy mấy bài thơ của ông nội viết ngày xưa được mình và bé My type lại. Đọc lại thấy xúc động quá. Thương ông nội quá. Từ khi bà nội mất cứ cô đơn một mình, chỉ có niềm vui duy nhất là được ở bên con cháu. Mấy tháng ở SG với nhà mình, mấy tháng lại ở HN với nhà chú Tuấn Anh. Mặc dù có bao nhiêu bà theo đuổi nhưng ông vẫn không nguôi nỗi nhớ bà nội.

Mình biết ông có một ưóc nguyện không thành mà suốt đời ông day dứt. Đó là có được một đứa cháu đích tôn để nối dỗi dòng họ Lê. Giá mình là con trai thì đã là đứa cháu đích tôn cưng của ông rồi. Ông còn khao khát cho mình học tiến sĩ mà đến bây giờ mình vẫn không thực hiện được và không biết liệu sau này có thực hiện được không nữa.

Sau đây là 3 bài thơ ông viết khi mình mới sinh ra:

Nhớ cháu

Mới nửa tháng thôi ông về quê,

Bồn chồn, thao thức nhớ cháu ghê!

Cháu mình chắc lớn thêm rồi nhỉ?

Cháu cười tươi tắn thật xinh ghê!

Mình lại thay phiên xuống Hà Thành,

Nâng niu, bồng bế đứa cháu mình

Các con, bà cháu quây quần đủ

Rôm rả đùa vui đứa cháu xinh.

Mình ông buồn tẻ sống cô đơn

Ôi cháu làm sao! Cảnh vật buồn!

Vò võ một mình nghe đài vậy,

Ấm trà bốc khói cũng chẳng ngon.

Sương Mai mau lớn về quê nhé!

Múa hát ông nghe, thú tuổi già.

Ông muốn gia đình mình xum họp.

No đói nhưng mà vẫn thú vui.

Quê 20-3-1985

Không đề

Dân làng họ bảo mình sướng nhất,

Sung sướng vì con đã trưởng thành.

Cháu nội mới sinh thêm trẻ lại,

Hạnh phúc gia đình, mãi mùa xuân!

Nỗi khổ nào ai biết đến cho.

Các con đi cả, mình hiu quạnh.

Nặng nhẹ việc nhà tất đến ta,

Nổi khổ dày vò, ta kêu ta!

Bà về Hà Nội bế cháu thơ,

Mới chục hôm thôi biết không bà.

Tôi thấy buồn sao khong kể xiết.

Mọt mình vò võ cảnh quê nhà…

3-85

Không đề

Alô! Sương Mai đâu?

Mới một tuần thôi ông về quê.

Mà sao nhớ cháu của ông ghê!

Ngắm nhìn tấm ảnh càng thêm nhớ.

Nhớ cháu ông buồn viết vần thơ.

Tà tá ta cháu yêu tập nói.

MớI nhú hai răng cả nhà phấn khởi

Cháu cười tươi hớn hở, vui đùa,

Cháu hiểu gì không? Ông quí cháu thơ.

Ông không muốn cháu phải đi nhà trẻ.

Muốn luôn luôn bên cháu Sương Mai

Nhưng ông phải về quê ngày mùa gặt hái

Cháu có hiểu không? Cháu gái của ông.

Hôm nào ông ra, ông lại bề bống

Đi dạo mát bên hồ Thuyền Quang gió lộng.

Cháu mau lớn, đọc thông viết thạo

Đọc thơ ông cháu sẽ bật cười.

Thơ ông viết chẳng theo đường luật

Rất tự do, mang nặng tình thương.

Quê 86

Như các bạn thấy đấy, mình lại biến thành một đứa cháu rất hư, đi suốt không bao giờ chịu về duê thăm ông bà, lúc về thì không chịu ở lại vì chê quê không có toilet! Mình cũng vẫn chưa có dịp nào "múa hát ông nghe" nữa!

Disclaimer: My blog is for entertainment purposes only, please do not take it seriously or personally. Thank you!

Prayer

Dear God,

Please give me your blessing and let me win the lottery. By the lottery I mean the H1-B visa lottery, not the real lottery. This H1-B is more important to me than anything money can buy.

I promise I will be good. I promise I will listen to my parents and email them more often.

I will go out less, I will study harder, I will sleep less, I will exercise, learn to cook, daydream less. I promise I will be less selfish.

I promise to be nice to my friends (please forgive me for bullying my friends when I was small).

I promise to be stricter with my sister.

I promise I will follow my dream of helping the poor. I promise I won't waste food. I promise to give more money to beggars in the subway.

I promise I will shop less.

I promise to love my enemies (although I don't have any enemies). I promise to love my neighbors (although I don't know any of their names). I promise to gossip less (I didn't say stop gossiping).

I know I have been a bad girl and refused to believe in you. But throughout the years, I have realized that everytime I need you (heartbreaks, disappointments, loneliness, failure) and prayed to you, you have always looked after me and forgiven me. I promise to obey you and put my trust in you.

Please let me stay in New York for another few years. Thank you God! God bless you, God. Amen.

Yours truly.

Suong Mai

Disclaimer: My blog is for entertainment purposes only, please do not take it seriously or personally. Thank you!

Engagements and weddings

In the past few months, I have been to 1 wedding, been invited to another one, heard of 3 engagements and saw my ex-bf get married. Also listened to dozens of my friends talk about their plan to "get engaged".

This is making me really depressed! It made me realized that my peers and I have entered into a different stage of life. Long are the beautiful days when all of us live freely, enjoying our youth, having fun and only have to think about our studies. Marriage is a scary thing. It means you can't live selfishly anymore. You have another person and a family to look after. You are less likely to take risks, to follow your passions and will likely have to go the "safe way". Marriage isn't like shopping. You can't return what you don't like. You're stuck with that person for the rest of your life (or face a painful divorce). What's worse, married people only hang out together. All they talk about is babies, buying a house, sending kids to school etc. If only we could be young and free forever!

I have been semi-proposed by guys multiple times before, but have never thought I could say yes. Just the thought of saying those wedding pledge scares me. If I get married, I need to be damn sure that I really mean it when I say those vows.

"Will you listen to his inmost thoughts, be considerate and tender in your care of him, and stand by him faithfully in sickness and in health, and, preferring him above all others, accept full responsibility for him every necessity for as long as you both shall live? do you vow that you will do everything in your power to make your love for him a growing part of your life? Will you continue to strengthen it from day to day and week to week with your best resources? Will you love him as a person, respect him as an equal, sharing joy as well as sorrow, triumph as well as defeat?"

I sometimes feel like an outcast. Like Carrie in "Sex and the City", being the only single girl and getting invited to all these couples/family events and getting that pity look.

If this goes on, I'm going to start hating weddings! It got me thinking, if I ever get married (or if someone ever wants to marry me :P), I'll probably just get hitch in Las Vegas to get it over and done with. Won't have to waste time and money on the "perfect wedding" that lasts 3 hours. Ha ha...

But you'll see when "my wedding" comes...

P.S. I also think prenuptial agreements should be the default, not the exception.

Disclaimer: My blog is for entertainment purposes only, please do not take it seriously or personally. Thank you!

Entry for April 14, 2008

Long time no see. A lot has happened over the last few weeks. However, being lazy as I am, I’ll just give you a very short version of my updates.

Well, to implement my “New Year’s resolution”, I have been more active these days. I started volunteering for the Vietnamese School in New York to help teach small children Vietnamese. I will tell you guys more about it soon! Besides volunteering, I have been trying out a few highly-rated French restaurants in NYC but wasn’t impressed. Nothing beats home-cooked Pho’? or Spring rolls after all!

As for my social life, I have had the chance to see a Vietnamese play called “Missing woman” written and directed by Minh Ngoc starring Thanh Loc. Never a fan of Cai Luong or Vietnamese theatre, I must say I was impressed this time. I also got to see a Vietnamese film “Trai Tim is bong” and met with actress Hong Anh. The film was moving and meaningful but not too impressive. I will write a review on these two events soon!

In my spare time in the evenings, I have been watching lots of DVDs. I really love “Ratatouille” and “The Prestige”! I am still stuck reading the book “A thousand barrels a second”. It is very educational and interesting but so dry and full of information that it’s taking me forever to finish. However, recently I had the chance to attend a lecture at the Brandeis house in New York on the topic “How are Arab Oil-Exporting Countries Investing their Petrodollars?” which is very much related to what I am reading.

Oh by the way, I recently discovered the wonderful world of Podcasts and got addicted to it. Now I can download shows like Anderson Cooper, Mad Money with Jim Cramer, BBC World News, and French Lessons into my iPhone to listen on my way to and from work. That is an extra 1 hour of information I can absorb instead of daydreaming on the subway everyday! That leaves me more time in the evening to read newspapers, magazines, and books and watch movies at home.

If you haven’t been following, my mom went to two different fortune tellers beginning of this year and both said I was getting married this year. But it’s already mid-April and no sign of a fiancé yet! What am I supposed to do now? My search for “Mr. Right” is still on going and I’m running out of time. The Vietnamese circle in the US is so limited, there’s not much to choose from L What’s worse, guys my age nowadays are looking at girls born in 1988 or later. That makes me one of those “ba chi gia”. And somehow, I only managed to attract younger or older guys ("cac em trai tre" va "cac anh lon"). Oh dear, will I end up being a spinster? I also realized that maybe guys find me intimidating. Maybe I should try to speak with a sweeter and softer voice (“Annnhhhh oooooiiii….”) or learn to use "make up"? Hmm…

I am quite happy these days because I have had the chance to meet up for lunch/dinner with many friends I haven’t seen for so long. Went drinking a couple of times with friends too. Bad news is that my famous high tolerance is going down. Twice I got tipsy for having just a few drinks. Maybe I’m getting older and can’t act like a teenager anymore L

Work is still the same. Just waiting for the H1-B result. CFA studying is still very slow. I am so behind and only less than 2 months until the exam!

Oh by the way, I recently got into a car accident. Well, yes, I am a bad driver. But NO, I wasn’t driving. My friends and I were driving on the FDR in New York when we got hit from behind by this expensive Bentley car. I was sitting behind and hit my head on the backseat. Luckily I had my seatbelt on. However, I have been having slight headaches since. Just went to the doctor today and was told I’m okay but need to sleep as much as I can, work as little as I can and exercise more. The first two (sleep more, work less) is as easy as pie for me. But the exercise thing, I’m going to have to work on. Haven’t been to a gym in 2 months L

That’s it for all my boring ranting. I promise to update my blog with more interesting writing soon!

Disclaimer: My blog is for entertainment purposes only, please do not take it seriously or personally. Thank you!

This is the status of my blog lately

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