He’s just not that into you

Gigi is this super sweet and cute hopeless romantic in search for “the one”. She breaks all the rules of “playing hard to get” (a serial rules breaker as they call it). She waits by the phone and frets when the guy doesn’t call. She makes up excuses when guys let her down. She is forever hopeful that the guy she met will call.

Finally, she meets a guy friend Alex who taught her to interpret the rejection signs. “Trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. No exceptions. If a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't want to call you. He’s just not that into you”. It is sad, but true. With Alex’s help, Gigi learns to love herself and to stop waiting for guys who would never return.

However, in the end, when she falls for Alex and got rejected by him, she walks out of his apartment, with her head held high, turns back and says to him:

“I’d rather be like that than be like you. I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh, you think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are.”

Back a few years ago. Let me explain that I am a fan of Broadway. Among the twenty or thirty shows I have seen, some are memorable, some are mediocre. There’s this play “Sweet charity” which I saw in Boston that I never really liked. It is a story of misadventures of love encountered by the gullible and guileless Charity Hope Valentine who always gives her heart and dreams to the wrong man. However, somehow the image of this girl stuck to me for many years. Sweet Charity is an ever-hopeful girl. She was dumped by every single guy who dated her and promised her happiness. Each time she would get up on her feet again. Each time she loved, she gave her whole heart with the hope of finding her soul mate. She gets heartbroken time and again but never gave up hoping and loving.

The story concludes "And so she lived … hopefully … ever after". I never knew what happened after that, but I would still like to believe that she found true love after all.

Back to my story. After many years, sadly what I have learnt is to stop trying. Not to stop trying to find love or my soul mate. But to stop trying to make someone love me. I learnt that no matter how hard you try to make someone happy, if that person does not love you, he would not appreciate a single thing you do. No matter how perfect you try to be, if he does not love you, you don’t even exist in his eyes. I have learnt that there is just no formula for love, if someone does not love you, you just have to learn to let go and move on. People break up for many reasons. But the most painful thing is to realize the person you have given your heart and dreams to neither loves you or wants to share a dream with you. He's just not that into you.

Yes, Gigi and Sweet Charity are both foolish and desperate. But at least each time they failed but moved on, they got a lot closer to true love. And I, like them, am hopeful that one day they will find a guy, despite all their crazy actions, neediness, silliness and emotions, will still love them for who they are. A guy who could hold you in his arms to tell you “I love you so much. So much. And I want to make you happy. I need to make you happy for me to even have a shot at being happy.”

Maybe it will never happen. But let’s keep hoping…

Disclaimer: My blog is for entertainment purposes only, please do not take it seriously or personally. Thank you!