Why write?

I have once typed a blog using the iPhone but this will be my first attempt at blogging from an iPad.

I'm sitting at a Starbucks cafe, sipping a cup of cappuccino and daydreaming, looking at the Rainbow bridge. Last night I had a headache and did not sleep well, I think this morning I must have looked terrible with a swollen face. Haha. Somehow these days I don't feel hungry at all, if i'm by myself I would even skip meals. Funny, huh, because if you know me, I eat a lot and was always hungry. I used to wish I could lose just 1-2 kgs and tried so hard to work out but now I don't even have to worry anymore.

I don't know when I'll stop this habit of wandering around by myself or sitting in coffee shops alone. I was thinking of retiring from writing, but there are friends who said they look forward to reading my blog, and a little girl I don't know said that she felt better and life more meaningful after reading my blog. So as long as my blog still has a purpose, I will keep writing.

You know, a person's writing and their outside expression can sometimes be completely different. Many of you must have experienced of loving a writer's work and imagining what that person is like, but then being disappointed when meeting and interacting with that person. Well, we are all human. So that's why I'm really scared when someone knows me from reading my blog before meeting me. We cannot be so beautiful, charming and romantic as our writing. We have our ups and downs, good days and bad days. But I can assure you, deep inside us is the person we expressed in our writing. But it takes just a little bit more time and understanding to see this.

Why do we write? For me, for many reasons. To indirectly talk to friends who I don't usually talk to. To record memories and dreams to later look back. To release stress. To record what I was thinking at a certain time, because one day we'll change so much and forget who we used to be. Sometimes when I'm sad or lonely and have no one to talk to, the only way is to write, hoping that somewhere out there, someone is reading and knows how I feel. I don't delete my posts, even though some posts now are quite embarrassing or depressing or plain desperate. But I just hope one day looking back, I could laugh and say "Young, naive and stupid".

Do people feel happier as they age? I guess so. Because happiness is a state of mind and the way you look at life. Life does not get better as we grow older, but the way we look at things change. We learn to accept what we can't change. We think less and save ourself from self pity. We also appreciate what we have and do not compare ourselves with others as often.

Me? I've changed a bit, and I hope for the better. I've grown a bit more patient. I'm getting better at controling myself. I enjoy the moment and the present more instead of worrying about what's next. I stopped criticizing myself but at the mean time will always try to be a better person. And I started to learn what true love is.

Disclaimer: My blog is for entertainment purposes only, please do not take it seriously or personally. Thank you!